Birth of baby A
My first birth was my catalyst to becoming a birth doula!
A little background:
My husband is in the military so we move around a lot, we've been away from family for about 6 years. When we found out I was pregnant with our first baby we were stationed at the submarine base in Connecticut. It was impossible to fine maternity care! No one was taking patients and the ones that were didnt want to take me on because we knew we would end up moving in the middle of my pregnancy.
We moved when I was around half way through my pregnancy, across the county in a week long road trip! It was hell on my pregnancy nausea because being the car made me motion sick as, and sitting in the car for hours and days made my hips hurt so bad as well! Luckily I had a relatively normal, low risk pregnancy and was able to get into the midwife care birth center near our new station pretty soon after our move. Ultrasounds were normal and showed we were having a little girl. My husband was sure from the beginning of my pregnancy that it was a girl so he was beyond excited!
The midwives at the birth center were great. They recommended I hire a doula especially because I really wanted to go fully unmedicated and labor as long as possible at home. The doula I hire was amazing and truly made my birth a much better experience than it would have been without her.
My labor started out normal, slow predictable contractions. I noticed them about 10 minutes apart consistently as I was trying to go to bed. My husband was on duty, it was valentines day and he had midnight watch so I texted him as I was going to sleep saying "I think maybe my labor started". The next morning we had my 38 week midwife appointment anyway so I figured I would sleep and see what happened.
We got to my midwife appointment and my contractions were still pretty far apart, barely noticeable just a little uncomfortable. My midwife wasnt sure it was labor yet or possibly just Braxton hicks but she told me that I should go home and rest. "Take a warm shower and a nap and see if you're still feeling it later. Plus the sleep will be good if you are actually in labor." We went home and did just that.
That evening around maybe 5 or 6 I texted my doula letting her know things seemed to be picking up and I would let her know when I needed her. I labored okay at home for another hour or two and then my contractions were getting pretty strong and I was needing to breathe through them so I called my doula around 8 to come over for home support. She arrived and suggested a shower to see if that would help a little while my husband got some food ready for me. The shower helped a lot but I was getting nauseous in the hot steamy air so I got out pretty soon. Tried to eat but couldnt and my doula was counting and timing contractions for me for a little while. When they were around 2 minutes apart she suggested calling the midwife.
We got to the birth center a little after midnight and I was so lucky to have Holly on as my midwife (she was my favorite on the team there!) And we got set up in the birth room. My labor stalled a little from the transfer of being in the car so after she got all my vitals and babys vitals she left us to get comfortable and labor alone for awhile. My labor slowly picked up, we did some bouncing on the birth ball and kneeling at the side of the bed rocking my hips for awhile, just doing what felt comfortable. Everything was progressing okay just a little slowly, I was about 4cm when I got to the birth center and after a few hours was at a 6 (This was my first baby so I expected things to go slowly).
Now for the TMI of birth: I felt like I needed to poop. I had been constipated for days before labor and I think it was probably the biggest poop of my life. And as soon as I pooped labor got really intense, and then my baby shifted downwards (clearly she had more space to move now) and my labor turned into back labor. Back labor is the worst and I wouldnt wish it on anyone! Usually it means baby is in a weird position, so we tried every position, tons of counter pressure (my husband was a hero and exhausted with how much pressure he was using to push on my back and hips), every trick my doula knew and a ton of Spinning Babies positions and movements to try to get baby to move.
After hours of back labor and being in labor for nearly 24 hours already my midwife was getting concerned. Mostly because I was exhausted and she worried that I wouldnt have the strength to push when it came time. She checked my cervix again and after hours I was still stuck at a 7, we decided together that I should transfer to the hospital for an epidural because of how much pain I was in.
The epidural was like heaven, immediate relief and worked perfectly for me! At that point it was around 8am on Feb 16th so I had been in labor for awhile. Basically coasting on zero sleep as well so I took a little epidural nap! When I woke up maybe an hour or two later I felt much better. I was rotated and moved around into all kinds of positions with the help of my doula and the nurses on staff. I labored for a lot longer but without the back pain I felt mostly okay. At 9cm the OB and resident team talked about breaking my water. I agreed because it felt like that was what was preventing me from getting to the end of this.
Then it was time to push!
And then unfortunately more problems. I pushed for wayyy too long. They had me trying to push for close to 4 hours, in different positions and with some breaks in between but still wayyy too long! When the OB finally came back around to check on me and see what was going on I was so frustrated and felt like I was failing. She asked to check me again to see if something was going on and very quickly she found the problem. My daughter had turned and was trying to come out eyes first! They call it a severe brow presentation, its one of the few positions that are not possible to deliver vaginally, so I had to have a c section.
I felt defeated. I had been in labor for over 36 hours at this point, I was exhausted, frustrated and feeling like I did all this work and experienced this pain for nothing. My doula was perfect in this moment, she asked if we had some time to process and since it wasnt an emergency they gave me 20 minutes to breathe before preparing for surgery. I'm so grateful for that time. I had a good cry and a big panic and my husband just held me and told me how it wasnt my fault and joked that we could just blame the baby "because really its her fault, she turned wrong so its her fault". We prepped and went for surgery and then there was suddenly a baby.
It felt surreal and wasn't what I envisioned or what I wanted but I'm glad for the care team I had. They truly gave me every opportunity to try every strategy, position, comfort method and explained all my options every step of the way.
Birth of baby G
After such a difficult labor with my first and healing from a c section both physically and emotionally. For awhile I was unsure if I could do it all again. I knew that there was a very low likelihood of having the same experience but I didn't know what to expect. It took awhile for me to feel okay in my body again, and even longer to trust my body again.
The birth of baby G was absolutely a healing and empowering experience for me!
Once we decided to try for another baby, I knew I would only feel confident if I could have a home birth with a midwife very experienced with VBAC (VaginalBirthAfterCesarean). I had already been working as a doula for nearly 2 years when I connected with my midwife. I actually supported a home birth client who had this midwife at her birth and she handled everything with such care and comfort that I knew if I was to get pregnant again that I would want that for my own birth.
When baby A was about a year and a half old we decided to try for another and got pregnant almost immediately! Pregnancy with a toddler is definitely a journey and so exhausting but also so rewarding. Basically as soon as we found out I was pregnant we got in contact with my midwife and she took me on immediately. We spent those early appointments discussing my first birth as well as any fears or trauma I had from my first. I think that really did prepare me and helped me to trust my body and the labor process again.
At my 20 week ultrasound we found out we were having another girl! And that I had placenta previa (which is when the placenta covers the cervix). Placenta previa causes high risk complications, including severe hemorrhage risks if its still covering the cervix when labor starts. My midwife decided to schedule another ultrasound for around 30-32 weeks to check if the previa had moved at all as my uterus expanded during pregnancy. Luckily it had moved so we could safely go ahead with my home birth plan! Otherwise I would have needed a scheduled c section and that would have been very difficult for me to process.
Around this time is when I contacted two of my doula friends and asked if they would be my doulas. They were both said they were so honored I would choose them and that of course they would be there for me. I love and appreciate them both so much! Megan is the sweetest most comforting presence and Morgan is so calm and brings a soft loving energy to every birth, shes also starting to work as a birth photographer and offered to take photos and video for me which I absolutely loved!
Around 36 weeks is when I started having prodromal labor. Which is basically labor contractions that come and go for sometimes weeks at a time. For me it was abour 5 or 6 hours of these contractions every day for about 3 weeks before labor actually started. It was kinda crampy and uncomfortable, a little exhausting (especially when chasing a toddler around) but I'm also greatful for it because it was doing some of the work before labor actually started.
At my 38 week appointment I asked my midwife to check my cervix and I was at about 3 cm and 50% effaced so those contraction were doing some work. She sent me home with orders to rest as much as possible and to let her know whenever I have contractions because if my body continues to do the work in small bursts it could make labor go very fast when it finally does start.
And she was kind of right!
May 16th! Woke up and hand some weird contractions on and off all morning so I mostly tried to ignore it and keep going with my day. They were pretty far apart and not super regular so I didnt think anything of it. Around 4pm they were turning into something more and definitely becoming more regular. I checked in with my midwife about them and she asked if I wanted to come into her office and just do a membrane sweep to finally kick off labor or at least be checked again. I said yes because I was starting to get to the point where I wasnt sure if anything was real labor or just more of what I'd been having.
I was clearly in denial!
Got to her office at 8pm and had three strong contractions that I had to stop and breathe through while in her office. After the first one she said something like " that looked like a big one" and asked if I even wanted her to check me cuz she was pretty sure I was in labor at this point. I asked her to check anyway because I just wanted the information and so we could try to know how baby was positioned. I was 5 cm and 80% effaced so definitely in labor at this point and baby was fully engaged in a good position. We talked for a little bit about my birth plan again and then she sent me home to try to rest.
By the time we got home, around 9ish, the contractions were really picking up. My husband went to get A to bed while I texted my doulas that I would need them soon and then got in the shower to try to relax a bit. Texted my midwife to join me at around 9:45 because contractions were around 2-3 minutes apart and very intense now. The shower was amazing, hot water on my lower back got me through pretty much my entire labor!
A fell asleep just before my doulas got to my house at 10 o'clock (had to open the door for them as my husband was still dealing with our toddler) then got back in the shower because it was really the only thing helping. Midwife arrived around 10:30 and I got out of the shower as she arrived because the hot steamy was making it hard to breathe. Almost immediately after I stepped out of the shower my water broke and my body started pushing on its own!
Baby G was born at 11:07 at night with me kneeling over my husbands lap while he held me on the bathroom floor. I got to catch her myself and pulled her to me, just so amazed with myself and what my body was able to do!
I still can't believe it happened so fast and I was definitely in shock for a bit. So glad I had a successful home birth VBAC with such and amazing team of women surrounding me. I genuinely dont think I could have stayed so calm and strong through it all without them there encouraging me and reminding me I was safe. And I'm so glad my husband was there to hold me through it all because he really was the only thing keeping me grounded so I wouldnt panic as my body pushed for me.
This birth was so healing for me and I'm still in awe of how it all happened! She was born at home, safely and calmly, a healthy 6 lbs 13 oz, 19 1/4 inches. And her first night she got to take a long nap on her dad's chest, surrounded by our family's love!
